John Kerry For President 2008: George W. Bush: "New Math"

If you have been reading a newspaper lately, you cannot avoid the reports regarding the current budget problem. Apparently this Administration is putting together a budget with a record deficit, greater than the $412 BILLION deficit last year, to approximately $427 billion.

Does this sound like a traditional Republican "fiscal conservative"? Never fear, George W. Bush is here! For even though to the unsophisticated observer like myself, it appears that we are spending ourselves into fiscal disaster, President Bush is steady at the wheel. Steadiness is his middle name! And we shall be, according to him, stay 'right on track' to halving the deficit by 2009. As he stated:

"I'll promote a package that will show the budget being cut in half over the next five years," Bush said at a White House news conference. Bush is set to unveil his fiscal 2006 budget request on Feb. 2.

I don't think President Bush has ever been involved in such a creative accounting scheme, well, at least not since his "off-book accounting" effort for Harken Oil a few years back.

Which made me remember a wonderful ditty from Tom Lehrer in the '60's. New Math. Here are the lyrics and they are for you President Bush! I thought you would enjoy these lines:

You can't take three from two
Two is less than three
So you look at the four in the tens place
Now that's really four tens
So you make it three tens
Regroup, and you change a ten to ten ones
And you add them to the two and get twelve
And you take away three, that's nine
Is that clear?

Now instead of four in the tens place
You've got three
'Cause you added one
That is to say, ten, to the two
But you can't take seven from three
So you look in the hundreds place

From the three you then use one
To make ten tens
And you know why four plus minus one
Plus ten is fourteen minus one
'Cause addition is commutative, right?
And so you've got thirteen tens
And you take away seven
And that leaves five

Well, six actually
But the idea is the important thing

Now go back to the hundreds place
And you're left with two
And you take away one from two
And that leaves

Everybody get one?
Not bad for the first day

{Refrain}
Hooray for new math
New-hoo-hoo-math
It won't do you a bit of good to review math
It's so simple
So very simple
That only a child can do it

Now actually, that is not the answer that I had in mind because the book that I got this problem out of wants you to do it in base eight. But don't panic. Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers. Shall we have a go at it? Hang on...

You can't take three from two
Two is less than three
So you look at the four in the eights place
Now that's really four eights
So you make it three eights
Regroup, and you change an eight to eight ones
And you add them to the two
And you get one-two base eight
Which is ten base ten
And you take away three, that's seven
OK?

Now instead of four in the eights place
You've got three
'Cause you added one
That is to say, eight, to the two
But you can't take seven from three
So you look at the sixty-fours

"Sixty-four? How did sixty-four get into it?" I hear you cry. Well, sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see? Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.

From the three you then use one
To make eight eights
And you add those eights to the three
And you get one-three base eight
Or, in other words
In base ten you have eleven
And you take away seven
And seven from eleven is four
Now go back to the sixty-fours
And you're left with two
And you take away one from two
And that leaves

Now, let's not always see the same hands. One, that's right. Whoever got that one can stay after class and clean the erasers.

Hooray for new math